I love being a Mom, before I had kids I thought I’d have 4 and that I’d be a stay-at-home mom but after my first baby, I quickly realized that was not going to work for our family. After struggling with postpartum depression, and feeling isolated as a young mom I knew that going back to work was best for my mental health. Working outside the home was the best thing for me, it made me a better mom, when I was home time spent with my kids was cherished. However, it hasn’t always been perfect, two working parents come with their own struggles and it took us years of trial and error to find a rhythm that works best for our family. I have found that there are a few rituals and routines that we have adopted that do make our days run just a bit smoother.
Mom burnout is real, just like the plane safety protocol, you need to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help others.
I get up early.
I have to prioritize sleep for my mental health but good sleep for me goes hand in hand with getting up earlier than my family. My day typically starts at 5:45 am, I love to get up and ease into the day. It takes a bit to get adjusted to but honestly having a couple of hours before work makes all the difference. I hate being rushed, I want to sit and enjoy my coffee, and I want to walk my dog and not eat breakfast on the run. I've read a lot of self-help books and listened to all the podcasts about perfecting your mornings, making sure to start the day off right. Many suggest you meditate or journal, run or hit the gym. I assure you I am most definitely not doing any of that. If I write anything it’s a chore list for my kids. What I’m really doing with my time is reading the news, scrolling social media and enjoying my coffee while it's hot.
Check off a task while your coffee is brewing.
I try to do a load of laundry a day. This is one chore that I don’t despise, so throwing a load on each morning when I get up, makes me feel like I have my shit together. It’s usually done by the time I finish my cup and then in the dryer, it goes. I find starting the day in small steps a little more enjoyable than having it hit me in the face the moment I wake up.
Move your body!
Next to sleep getting out and moving my body is the best tool I have in my toolkit for my mental health. I can always tell when I haven't had enough physical activity, it usually starts with anxiety and mood swings. From personal experience, no one benefits from a rage-filled mom.
Food Prep.
Lunches are the bane of my existence, I hate making them but I also don't trust my children to feed themselves real food. So each Sunday evening I spend an hour in the kitchen while the hubs cook dinner cut veggies, wash fruit, bake, and organize the fridge. Being able to literally grab a handful of veggies, a hard-boiled egg or a muffin makes it so much easier come mid-week when I'm running out of steam. Full disclosure I am notorious for buying lunch on the go so this also helps keep me from living off coffee and donuts.
Fuck multitasking.
We need to stop telling ourselves that this is a superpower because it's not. It's not practical and just leaves you feeling scattered. Just focus on one task at a time and move on to the next. There seem to still be so many unrealistic expectations of the perfect mother, making us feel like if we aren't doing it all can we even call ourselves good moms? Each Day I try and make a to-do list of the top three things that I need to accomplish that day, everything else is just a bonus.
A place for everything and everything in its place.
Seriously, just putting shit away and knowing it’s where it's supposed to be is such huge stress relief. I heard a tip once, never leave a room empty-handed and I’ve been doing it ever since. It took a bit to get into the habit but I definitely reduces the everyday clutter.
Outsource Household Chores
Start asking family members to help out with chores, you're their mother, not their maid. Kids need to learn how to clean, cook and take care of themselves. The bonus here is you don’t have to clean their bathroom or wash the dishes. They are going to suck at it at first and they are going to kick up a stink but they too will get into a routine. At our house, Saturdays are reserved for chores. I don't mind if they sleep in, in fact, I encourage it. They need to clean their bathroom and tidy their rooms before they can take off with their friends.
Do something for yourself once a day.
Read a book, take a bath, or go for a walk. It doesn’t need to be extravagant, it's just important you take time for yourself. As parents, we focus so much of our energy and attention on everyone else but ourselves.
Say I love you every day for no other reason than it feels good.
Use A Calendar
Seriously, it’s such a simple habit to get into and honestly, it’s a game-changer. I put everything down, even my self-care. I am the queen of over-committing and organizing my day helps me avoid spreading myself to things.
The best advice I can give is to identify your pain points and work from there. For us mornings are the worst, my husband leaves early for work and I typically do not long leave after him so ensuring that everything is prepped makes it smoother.
Currently, we are trying to get better at making sure the kitchen is 100% TIDY before bed, we are so bad at leaving the odd pot or snack dishes out and that definitely is stressful waking up to.
There is no perfect solution, chaos is inevitable when raising kids but focusing on your pain points defiantly can help.
A Captain's Blog is a real-life millennial mom's account of parenting teenagers and navigating a busy family life with honesty and humour. I'm a digital creator who loves to inspire, empower and connect by sharing my personal experience. I am a serial entrepreneur, and social media marketing maven who would love to have you along for the ride.
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