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Writer's pictureTarren Gilchrist

Home Alone.


Captain’s Log


Sunday, March 6th, 2022


Last week was a big week for the crew, Number 2 and the Duchess went on a snowboarding trip to Mount Tremblant while Relic and I stayed home. My brother-in-law and niece also joined the crew for this exciting father-daughter adventure. I can’t decide what I'm was more surprised by, the fact that Number 2 took time off mid ski season or that the Duchess didn’t complain when he told her she had been volunteered to join.


All members came back in one piece and have claimed to have had a good time. I have awarded both girls with the highest of honours for not abandoning their fathers on the ski hill and de-escalating all conflict diplomatically without eye rolls. The dads were each given medals of bravery for taking on such a dangerous mission.


I was so looking forward to this time alone to scratch some large ticket items off my to-do list while I had the ship mostly to myself for a few days. I planned to take full advantage of my alone time and organize all our tax information, write all my blog posts for the month, write a chapter, and call around to a few insurance companies to compare quotes. Instead, I actively procrastinated in every possible way, so I course-corrected and called it self-care. I enjoyed a couple of quiet evenings, with a glass of wine, a new puzzle, while binge listening to My Favourite Murder podcast- with the doors locked of course, because one does not stay sexy if they get murdered. I did manage to get most of my to-do list done in the final hour, surprising myself yet again at how much I can get done if I commit.


I donned my hazmat suit and cleaned the crew's bathroom. I hadn't checked their work in a while and knew it needed a deep clean. I have no words. They failed on so many levels. Or have I failed for not training them more rigorously?


The Powder Monkey missed his people and by the end of the week he beginning to drive me insane. He’d taken to following me everywhere, most notably the bathroom. It felt like I had a toddler again, I had an audience each time I had to use the washroom, the starring was beginning to make me a bit uncomfortable. I've made a note in his file, we need to work on his understanding of personal space.


Thursday I enjoyed a date with Relic ( after having to book a timeslot with him 6 days in advance)at Fig and Feta. As usual, the meal did not disappoint, nor did the fact that I could have a beer because I had a chauffeur. If the kid isn’t working he’s off doing who knows what with his friends. He is certainly prepping me for his departure to university this fall.


Glad to have all crew members back on the ship as we are now enthusiastically counting down the days until Number 2 is done with the ski season.





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