It doesn’t matter where you are on your parenting journey every now and then we all need a little insight and reminder that it’s all going to be ok. Here are a few little snippets I've learned over the last few years raising teenagers. A few I wish someone would have told me earlier, especially the last one.
Take the win and celebrate
This is a big one, you need to celebrate the little successes. Remember when your sweet baby took their first few steps and you cried tears of pride, you’re going to want to channel that same joy to the time they put their laundry away without being asked or emptied the dishwasher without giving you attitude. Take it, celebrate it!
It doesn't have to be lonely
No one ever talks about how isolating and lonely parenting teenagers can be. In a crisis, we often become afraid to talk about what is going on in our lives or our children’s lives for fear of judgement from other parents. The Fear of judgement, afraid of what our neighbours and friends will think. We certainly wouldn’t share on social media about what is truly going on in our lives, it’s hard to put a glowing filter on that. In my humble experience, it doesn't have to be this way, I truly believe if you opened up about how you were really feeling about this stage of parenthood you’d find many more just like yourself.
Sometimes you’ll be the one apologizing
This is a tough one, I can assure you no one likes the taste of humble pie less than myself, but I have on more than a few occasions had to say I’m sorry for overreacting or straight up losing my shit. I don’t need to be a clairvoyant to know you'll find yourself there one day too. You may lose your temper, make assumptions or misread a situation and are going to have to eat your share of the pie.
They secretly want and need boundaries
Kids need limitations, they need us to say no sometimes and despite the bad attitudes and declarations of us being the worst parents in the world, they are secretly grateful when you say no. Of course, they will never say thank you or admit that you made the right call, just know that despite their protests one day they will appreciate (This is what I tell myself to feel better about being the bad cop.)
You will always be waiting
Waiting for them to wake up, for them to get up, for them to clean up, pick up, show up, get into the shower, for them to get out of the shower, for them to come home and for them to say something without rolling their eyes. Life with a teen is all about waiting.
Mistakes are imminent
Spoiler alert, your sweet tiny humans are now know-it-all hotheads and they are most definitely going to screw up. Your new car, they’ll dent it. Your liquor, they’ll drink it. That class they're failing, they'll skip it. You said no parties, you bet your ass they'll have one. The point is, they are going to screw up in so many different ways it's going to have you questioning where you went wrong raising them. Mistakes are how we learn, unfortunately as that old saying goes; the bigger the kid the bigger the problems. Take a deep breath, try not to react out of fear, and wait until you’ve calmed down before you tackle the consequences.
No one truly has it figured out.
If you take only one thing from this post let that just be this, no matter what, no one truly has it figured out. That family on Instagram that seems so perfect, even they don’t have a clue what they are doing. Rosy filters and loving captions don’t show you the whole picture.
Be gentle on yourselves parents, there is no perfect formula for success in parenting and just when you think you’ve got it figured out your kids will change the game.
Loved this and can 💯 relate to this. Thank you!!❤️
Always waiting.. for them, for shit to fly, for the next success, failure or completely shit day.
Nailed it!!