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Snowmageddon| A Christmas Story

Captain’s Log

January, 8th, 2023

Happy New Year from the Crew aboard the Sailing Ship Shitshow.

I’m thrilled to report a very successful and fun-filled holiday season. I took a few weeks off from blogging to get my shit together. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I’m any further ahead in tackling my to-do list, but I do feel rested. Why is the holiday season so freaking exhausting? And Why as mothers do we put so much pressure on ourselves to create perfection? I feel like I have been burnt out since November.

Thankfully with the entire crew back under one roof so there was never a lack of content and my creativity began to flow again.

The Ship experienced a significant crisis leading up to Christmas, so tragic in fact, Number 2 and I were very concerned our crew would not survive. We lost our wifi as a result of snowmageddon and you would think the world had literally ended. Not only had the storm locked us at home with closed roads but also our ability to communicate with the outside world. Thankfully Number 2 is a pack rat when it comes to DVDs and Video games because the crew was climbing the walls.

For 5 days they paced around the house like they were walking a prison yard. By day three I was ready to reach out to my online community, preparing to beg for your thoughts and prayers. In the end, I was unable to post because my precious crotch goblins had used up all the goddam cellular data.

It should be noted that I had to actually tell my 18-year-old son to put his snow pants on and go outside and play because mommy needed a break. It got to the point where the bathroom was the only room in the house where we were still respecting boundaries.

Despite the snow and toddler-like teenagers, the excitement of the season was undeniable. Santa managed to still come through with a few Christmas miracles, delivering a few extra surprises for us. Number 2 got to take both Christmas Eve and Day off, which has only happened a few times in our 20 years of marriage.

I’m pleased to report that all 5 souls aboard the Shitshow survived the holiday season and all their Snapchat streaks are back on track. I am excited about the new year and the fact that everyone is back to their regularly scheduled programming. Relic is back at university, The Duchess and Kake are back in school and my house is almost back to normal.

By normal… the house still looks like we are losing a game of Jumanji.

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