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Writer's pictureTarren Gilchrist

That Time Mom & Dad Got a Night Away

Captain’s Log


Monday, July 10th, 2022


Number 2 and I took full advantage of having teenage dirtbags and took off for a night away in Toronto, leaving Relic and the Duchess to fend for themselves. We were pretty smug on the drive, commenting a few times on what magical a time it is to have children who are at an age where you can just leave them for the night and know that they will take care of themselves. If your crotch goblins are still too small to be left alone then let me just tell you how amazing it’s going to feel when you too can just pack up the car and head away for the night. You’re gonna love it!


I admit I was a little nervous that they were going to throw another intimate gathering with 100 of their closest friends but was delighted if not slightly shocked to learn that they had just watched tv together. I was a wee bit suspicious, and I did consider that they had grown craftier with their party-throwing skills, however, their stories were airtight and I have found no evidence to prove otherwise. I feel a little disappointed that they failed to give me any good content to use in writing this week's update.


For once it was Number 2 and I that got to indulge in some shenanigans. It’s been far too long since we had a night out like the one we had. If you haven’t been to a good house party recently, I highly recommend that you go ahead and organize one as soon as possible. Our amazing friend turned 40 and she threw herself an incredibly good time (not that you need an occasion). It was so much fun getting back out post-pandemic meeting new people, having wicked conversations, eating incredible food, drinking a few adult beverages and dancing the night away in the living room to the beats of a talented DJ.




Those who know me know that nothing brings me more joy than dancing my ass off, the fact that there was a DJ to keep us going was beyond amazing. I have made sure to inform all members of the crew that I would very much like one at my 40th party.


I"m thrilled to report that I woke up without a sore head or body because unlike my teenage self I remembered to hydrate at steady intervals throughout the evening and wear supportive footwear. The natural consequences of parties' past have definitely taught me the importance of these two safety measures.


The crew was less than impressed with my safety measures when I texted them at 1:45 am to say goodnight. Apparently, they did not care that we were safely tucked in for the night and that I loved them. I feel no guilt, it's their fault for not having their phone on silent.


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