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Bring on the Summer

Captin’s log

Wednesday, June 15th, 2022


Weather Report: temperature hot, humidity high, tension higher, severe weather and bad attitude warning in effect. The mix of sudden hot weather, lack of AC, low levels of wine and anxiety could lead to a potential turbulent household. Anyone that finds themselves out in the open in the event of this supercell should take shelter on the deck, along with a joint or large glass of wine.





It’s been a minute since I last updated you on the crew of the S.S Shitshow. June has historically always been insanity, the last month of school, organizing summer plans, and managing the social pressures that always come with summer holidays. The goal of summer is to get in as much as possible before it's over, which is a lot of pressure. This year we’ve added an extra layer of chaos and introduced applying and accepting university offers.


I am thrilled to announce that we will be sending Relic off to Wilfred Laurier University this fall. We are all so excited for him, but no one more than Relic.


Wine consumption was a little high this week as we began navigating the overwhelming process of choosing a major, selecting courses, building a timetable and sorting residence options. There was also a very long, dry webinar on executing said process, that I should have paid more attention to.


The Duchess has been also contemplating a rather significant decision as well; to take over Relic’s cabin or to stay in her current bunk. The options are to stay in her current quarters which have an adjoining washroom or move to the other room that is twice the size of hers. Added bonus to moving into the larger room is that it annoys the shit of Relic each time she brings it up.


Number 2 has shown exemplary patience over the last few weeks, especially in dealing with the rapid-fire mood swings coming from all members of the crew. I am confident he will remain steadfast in his mediator role until the day we drop the boy off at school, then all bets are off.


I hope everyone enjoys these last few days of our spawn being in school before they are released into the wild for the summer.





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