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Girls Trip| Mom Braves Solo Trip with Teenage Daughter


Captain’s Log


April 2nd, 2022


Busy weekend for the crew of the S.S Shit show, the Duchess had her final hockey tournament in St.Catherine's and the boys were left unattended. We decided to make it a girl's trip! Myself and three 14-year-old girls for 3 days. GO, TEAM!




The team played some great hockey, the best they have all season, winning game one, tying game 2 and losing game 3. Emotions were high and despite being in the Niagara region wine was not on the menu, downside of being a responsible parent, no wine when driving.


I chose to take a break from being the Captain and took on the role of momager channelling my inner Kris Jenner. Chauffeuring my talent to games, restaurants, malls and all the attractions Clifton Hills had to offer. I loved it, although I need to negotiate a higher pay as the coffers are now dry. When did the PitaPit become fine dining, $65 or four people!


The girls loved staying in a hotel and wasted no time establishing our room as the common room for the team. I was a complete embarrassment to the Duchess, especially when her teammates requested I braid their hair before the games. By noon Saturday, I was officially banned from the main area of the hotel room and sent to the bedroom. However, I was still allowed to buy the snacks and carry the hockey sticks.


I let her have this victory as I too had had enough of teenage girl attitude and drama. There were are a lot of cheers and so many tears. I was feeling emotionally exhausted just witnessing it.



The boys managed not to sink the ship and I am happy to report that we were still afloat. We arrived home Sunday evening to dinner-prepped, extra T.P rations have been awarded Number 2.


However, the Duchess was less than impressed when she returned aboard, especially when she discovered Number 2 did the grocery shopping. She was most dissatisfied with the lack of Poptarts in the pantry and the abundance of fruit and veggies in the fridge. I’ve noted her unhappiness in her file and informed Number 2 that he should apologize to her for meeting her nutritional needs and not her wants.


I also had to make a note in Relic's file, he chose the Bubly flavour this week and picked strawberry which now has me questioning where I went wrong in my parenting. Clearly, this is a cry for attention and I need to spend more time with him.


Despite the roller coaster of emotions, the 7 hours of Taylor Swift and shitty hotel coffee it was a perfect weekend.

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