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Writer's pictureTarren Gilchrist

Captain's Log

Friday, October 22nd, 2021

I have had to issue a ship-wide warring, it reads;



I literally feel like my PMS is on steroids, one second life is good, I feel mentally stable and the next I’m sweating like I’ve run a marathon and I’m crying over Facebook memories while simultaneously screaming at my kids for being slobs. I’m sure my temporary insanity is largely due to the fact that our little ship has entered uncharted waters, Relic has now begun a serious deep dive into post-secondary education and the Duchess has transitioned into a full-blown teenager.


It’s kind of feels like I’m experiencing an identity crisis, for the last 17 years I’ve been a full-time mom and now I’m transitioning into partial empty nesters. This was certainly not in the parenting manual, the baby books did not properly prepare me for this. I love being a mom and I know that I will forever be their parent but this new chapter is one I wasn't fully prepared for. I recognize that we still have to get through his school year but it feels like its speeding by at warp speed.



Lately, Relic’s excited chatter about applications and programs feels more like a taunt rather than a conversation. I know that's not his intention, it’s my anxiety and fears, but sometimes it’s so hard for me to be excited with him. I admit it, I’m not ready for this stage. Number 2 and I always tell the kids that when they leave for school we are going to buy a one-bedroom condo but that's a lie, I’m all talk. The truth is I love a full house, I love having all their friends over, I love the chaos, the noise and the shenanigans. I’m going to miss it. So for the time being I'm going to savour all the noise and chaos while I can.


To make things even worse I’ve been recently demoted from the hockey carpool group by the Duchess and replaced by her brother, apparently, he’s more fun. Last night she actually filed an official complaint about my rendition of Shallow, claiming that my signing was not a talent I should spend any more energy on, “it’s embarrassing. “


Let's see how much she hates my singing when she realizes her broke ass brother isn’t going to be funding her post-game Starbucks habits. (Insert evil laugh here)



Sensing that I was straddling the line of insanity the crew took pity on me last night and asked me to watch a movie with them. We snuggled up on the sofa with some tea, snacks and a 90-minute movie. The Duchess managed not to snarl or roll her eyes at me the entire time and Relic let me sit beside him and didn’t shove me away. It was glorious, reminding me that sometimes my feral pirates really do love me.




The Captain.


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