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Surviving Mayhem: Post-Vacation Life

Captains log

Tuesday May 16th, 2023

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you have 35 tabs open in your brain? I have felt this way post-vacation for the past 48 hours, from our child-free trip to Vancouver Island. I have restarted this blog post at least five times because I’d get distracted by life and come back forgetting where I was headed with it.

I love going away but the game of catch-up when you return can be seriously overwhelming. Work, laundry, schedules, social, gardening, housework … the list seems never-ending, and makes me just want to pack up and run away again. Unfortunately, I’m still in the adulting stage of life and find myself needing to work as it appears I’ve yet to learn of a long-lost wealthy relative leaving me a fortune. Until then it's the pirate life for me.

The crew thoroughly enjoyed having the ship all to themselves and made sure to maximize the 5 days without having to report to their commanding officers. Relic particularly enjoyed playing Skipper as the Duchess was away most of the weekend at a Rotary Leadership Conference at Western University.

I’ve heard reports from my informants that the numbers were in the 30s for this latest house party. I am happy to report that a year away at post-secondary has left most of his motley crew of friends 10% more responsible. No holes in walls, no flooded toilets or random underwear were discovered among the wreckage. However, there were still Corona bottle caps in very random places and a bong was left out a little too brazenly for my liking. I will save him from the plank this time but he will be on sanitation duty for the week. Luckily for him, all the heads need a good scrubbing.

Number 2 has added a new rule for all crew members living rent-free aboard this fine vessel. From now on all financially dependent crew members must answer the phone when called. I’m not sure if it’s just our crew or if everyone deals with this issue but ours seem to be under the impression that it’s acceptable to decline the call of your commanding officers. Duchess will classically decline our call and then text us with a “What’s up?” Moving forward if they no longer feel like answering our calls they can start paying for their own cell phone bills.

Booze Cruises aside the ship was still in one piece when we returned. The dog was happy and well-walked and my plants were watered, so I’d say it was a successful training exercise.

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