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They're Expensive | The Unexpected Costs Of Teenagers

Updated: Mar 27, 2023

We know that kids are costly, this is not new, but there are some hidden costs that I certainly wasn’t prepared for when my sweet crotch goblins entered the teen years. When you decide to have kids you are aware of the standard costs of raising them; childcare, food, housing, sports and post-secondary school but there are a few that the baby and parenting books failed to mention.

When I asked the hubby to help me come up with a few ideas he responded “ there is no hidden cost, they just take it all”. However true this statement is, I dug a little deeper and came up with a shortlist of some hidden costs you may not have factored into your budget.

Food Waste. If you asked my kids what my favourite hobby is they’d say next to constantly cleaning it’s making school lunches and then throwing said lunch out later that evening. Bonus points if your kid doesn't even bother to take it to school.

Razors. Holy Shit razors are expensive and I’m 100% sure teenagers think they’re single-use.

Starbucks. No words are needed.

Sephora. Not only does your child have an extensive skincare routine now, but apparently you do too.

Unfinished Beverages. I find cans them everywhere, two sips consumed and then left somewhere to be knocked over later. I can’t wait for the day to come when they have to start buying their own groceries.

Lost income. Kids are gross, they get sick, but that’s already factored in when you have kids. Where it really hits the old pocket book is when you have to start taking time off work for extracurricular tournaments and competitions, volunteering on the PTA, or sitting in the principal's office discussing your child's less than stellar choices. Each missed day pushes you further away from that dream of retirement.

Public high school isn’t free. Course fees, books, supplies, trips, prom, multiple style transformations, and fundraisers continuously drain the bank.

They start driving. Gas, young drivers, and insurance premiums, this is the stage of parenting where you start to consider starting a side hustle or picking up a part-time job.

Mileage on your vehicle, gas is too apparent, mileage is sneaky. It seems like every few weeks I need an oil change or new breaks.

Chargers. I never move my charger from beside my bed, however, it’s forever needing to be replaced. Amazingly no one ever admitted to “borrowing” it, so it appears they do in fact grow legs.

Socks. The amount of unmatched socks I have is ludicrous, and I just can’t seem to let go of the hope that I will reunite each pair. Unfortunately, based on the number of random socks left by friends I have to face the fact that most will never find their mate.

Spoons. There never seems to be a spoon clean when I need one, I can’t imagine how many the school has at the end of each year at the bottom of the lost and found. I purpose that sets need to come with 6 of each utensil, and then an additional 24 spoons for families of school-age children.

I took a stand last week after telling my kids for months I was done making lunches they don’t eat, and they tried to call my bluff. I won, I am no longer making their lunch. This week's goal, now that all extracurricular activities are finished, it's time that both my precious cellar-dwellers to get jobs. Wish me luck.

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