Tuesday, February 23rd, 2021

Captain's Log

The last week has been a bizarre one, and I have found myself at a loss for words to describe that goings-on aboard the ship.

The Crew has been acting extremely particularly over the last 5 days and it has left both Number 2 and I confused. Truthfully, I don't even know where to begin. I fear the crew has been inflicted with some myterious aliment.

The Duchess seems to be the most afflicted by whatever has plagued this vessel. It started last week, Wednesday I believe, when she asked me if we could have a girl's night and hang out. This is very much out of character for her, I'm usually the last person she wants to hang out with, so immediately I became aware that something was off. As the evening progressed she started acting even more strangely. After dinner, while I was walking the dog she took it upon herself to clean up the mess hall post mealtime. At first, I was in such a state of shock that I couldn't even begin to process what I was seeing. But deciding that perhaps I was overreacting, I figured I'd go with the flow, thanked her and settled onto the sofa. I chose not to make a big deal of it and see where the rest of the evening went.

Feeling slightly concerned by this change in her nightly routine, I asked her if she was feeling ok. She informed me that she was "fine" and turned on her phone ending the conversation. Deciding to wing it, I pressed play on the next episode of our new medical drama, hopeful, she'd stay for one more. It was at this precise moment I knew something was seriously amiss because she proceeded to cross the cushion line on the sofa and snuggled into me. She even let me play with her hair. It was wonderful and terrifying all at once and I didn't know what to do, it felt what I imagine cuddling a lion might be like.

The following few days followed in a very similar fashion, both kids willingly hanging out with us, being helpful, and smiling. Relic surprised the shit out of me and managed to put a load of laundry in the washing machine and then turn it on. This is huge, because as far as I knew he still believed in the laundry fairy.

This behaviour has gone on like this for the last week, and although symptoms have been mild and manageable, we've decided that if it persisted much longer we'll seek professional help.

Fortunately today they appear to be on their way to a full recovery. Both crew members were very difficult to get out of bed this morning, they complained about the lack of good food in the house, told me I'm embarrassing and rolled their eyes at me on multiple occasions. Both Number 2 and I feel a huge sense of relief. I will have to keep an eye on Relic for one more day however, he's still showing minor symptoms. He brought the trash bins in unasked this afternoonand unpacked in lunch containers in the kitchen as opposed to under his bed.

I will keep you posted on their recovery and I hope no one else finds their spawn inflicted with this mysterious illness.