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Failed Family Adventure

Updated: Aug 23, 2021

Wednesday, June 9th, 2021

Captain’s Log


The plan wasn’t a failure but it also wasn’t a success. On Sunday, what was supposed to be a delightful team-building paddle down the Beaver River turned into a relay race of bad attitudes, bug bites, and sinking vessels.


We woke the crew up at an extremely reasonable hour and surprised them with a fun-filled family adventure. They were overjoyed. Disgruntled comments very muttered not so subtly under their breaths, and eyes rolled hard.


The Duchess was the first to be taken out on our adventures, almost immediately upon boarding the canoe. She managed to be temporarily incapacitated by a mosquito bite and was therefore completely unable to assist in paddling. This was very unfortunate, her discomfort was felt by all. Number 2 and I did our best to sympathize with her but we were too busy congratulating ourselves on successfully getting them in the truck.


As we ignored our offspring and tried to enjoy nature Number 2 discover that his attempt to seal a leak was not as successful as he’d hoped, we appeared to be taking on water. This was not ideal for obvious reasons but most concerning the Duchess, who was sitting on the floor of our fine craft. Number 2 was terrified because not only had she been brutally attacked by a mosquito, but her highness was not keen on getting wet. Tension seemed to grow higher aboard our tiny vessel with the water level, and it appeared we would be breaking for lunch sooner than anticipated.


Relic, however, had a much better start to this voyage and was thrilled to have his own kayak, at a safe distance from ours. He leads the charge, guiding us through some concerning shallow sections and over more than a few logs, commenting occasionally on how much he enjoyed the change from hiking. It wasn’t until we all decided to stop an hour in for a snack that the Baton of Bad attitude was passed on to him.


It was after some food and hydration, but before the Duchess perked up (although still unable to work a paddle) that he realized we were only a little over halfway through our trip. Apparently, this was the trigger, he had made plans and they did not include spending 3 hours of his day with his commanding officers. The positive comments and pleasant conversation ceased. He was not impressed. However, Number 2 and I held firm in our resolve to enjoy the moment, reminded unmoved by his lack of communication, and enjoyed the silence.


Fueled by sullen teenage attitudes and the promise of PomPom Icecream the crew managed to finish a 3-hour paddle in just over two and a half. Bravo Crew!








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