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So Many Tears.

Updated: Mar 27, 2023

Captain's Log

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2022

I’ve been neglectful in my reporting lately and I’d love nothing more than to blame it on the beautiful summer weather, but I’ve just been procrastinating. The truth is I’m a full-blown hot mess counting down the days until we take Relic to Laurier.

The stress has been magnified by the fact that he is still on the waitlist for residence and is currently homeless. Much self-medicating has been occurring in the form of 8oz glasses of Pinot Grigio as needed.

I've also noticed fluid leaking from my eyes at the most random moments, like yesterday when I was grocery shopping. This is quite unusual for me as I’m very medicated and am not one to get overly emotional. However, it appears that the thought of my firstborn heading out into the world is enough to thaw even my cold black heart.

Yesterday I decided to start buying a few essential items for the Scholar like body wash, deodorant and razors. It was when I grabbed some laundry detergent that the goddam tears started flowing, people were definitely staring. It was very uncomfortable for all present, especially the checkout lady.

It wasn’t more than a week ago while Relic and his pirate crew were raiding and pillaging my kitchen I started to weep, not because I’d just cleaned it, but because there are only so many more moments like these before life begins to change for them. I couldn't even muster up the enthusiasm to nag him the other day when I found two-thirds of my glasses littered around his room. Instead, I collected all the cups and sighed knowing it would be months before I would be nagging him again. It’s pathetic.

I’m officially taking back the eye rolls given to my commanding officers for thinking their tears were an overreaction when they dropped me off at college 19 years ago. This shit is fucking hard and I still have 9 days to go before the main event. Mom I’m sorry, your tears were not dramatic, they were legit.

Note to self, make sure to hydrate the day of as you will be very dehydrated.

I decided that it was time to heed my own advice and I reached out to my community online and ask if anyone could help us in our quest to find Relic somewhere to live while away at school. I am overwhelmed by the way everyone rallied and connected us with friends and family in the Waterloo area.

Spoiler Alert! I cried.

Am I pleased to report that we have a few solid leads and are trying to remain hopeful that something will come up. If I'm being honest at this point I’d settle for a cardboard box in a back alley if it means I have somewhere to drop him off.

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