Captain’s Log
Tuesday, October 11th, 2022
This year the crew of the S.S. Shit Show is so thankful for all our amazing family and friends, near and far who came together for a magical weekend in Niagara On The Lake.
We started our weekend off with the arrival of Relic back aboard the ship, hauling his laundry and appetite with him. The crew and I made a friendly wager on how long the boy would last at home before he would ask for the keys to a vehicle and head into town to see his friends. In the end, he managed to hang out for 3 hours before finally jumping ship. I was impressed at his ability to hang around as long as he did, especially since we were going to be gone all weekend, just the four of us.
Boredom plagued Number 2 on Friday as the Duchess and I were both working late and did not return aboard the ship until well after 8 pm. With Relic out with friends, he was left to his own devices and found them lacking. I was immediately made aware of the severity of the problem when I came home to a clean kitchen and dinner ready. I have made a note in his file to ensure that next time he’s left alone I organize a beer date with one of his mates.
The festivities began Saturday morning with an entertaining round of carpool karaoke, much to the annoyance of the Duchess and Number 2. Unfortunately, there will be no Partridge Family moments for this crew. I’m saddened to report that they have yet to appreciate the musical talent that the boy and I possess and are still reluctant to join in.
We arrived at our first destination, the bustling metropolis of Brantford for a wedding, and checked into our hotel. This was a huge relief to the crew as Relic and I had just finished our encore and we all needed a water break. After settling everyone into our room the Duchess informed us she had forgotten to pack her bathing suit. Relic had sweetly offered his spare swim trunks and a t-shirt but as we all know this would have been social suicide to a 15-year-old girl, so Number 2 and I made an emergency run to Walmart. On our way out Relic managed to convince us that we also needed extra snacks for later, despite my insistence that we did not. I have to give it to the boy he’s very convincing, a skill which will serve him very well if he chooses to go into sales or start a cult.
The wedding was gorgeous, and the October weather managed to be spectacular allowing us all to be outside. We are so delighted for the happy couple and that the crew managed to only ask us 25 times when we would be heading back to the hotel.
Sunday morning we headed off after a less-than-mediocre hotel breakfast and lacklustre coffee to Niagra-On-The-Lake for a family feast. It was the frist time since the beginning of the pandemic that we’ve had so much of our family together. It was so much fun to see everyone together, cousins annoying each other, grandparents playing referee and my sisters and I enjoying someone else parenting our offspring while we plied each other with wine. It was perfection, you don’t realize how much you miss something until it’s taken away.
We got home Monday afternoon to a very happy Powder Monkey, who always greets us with enthusiasm, love and affection, all key traits that continue to keep him in the number one spot as our favourite child.
Once the car was unloaded, bags were left lovingly for me to sort, and the kids began bickering over who got the shower first, Number 2 and I collapsed on the sofa and smiled at each other because everyone was home together and for that, we are so thankful.
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