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Easter Long Weekend

Friday, April 7th, 2023

Captain’s Log


It’s Friday of the Easter long weekend and my first objective when I get back aboard the ship is to change into my uniform. I'll be sporting my oldest, most worn-in black leggings, an oversized stained hoodie and the sloppiest bun you’ve ever seen. I've ensured that the Pinot is chilling and that I have a freezer meal ready to feed my womb gremlins. I may even get a bit wild and crazy and start a new puzzle tonight.


Relic is home for an extra long weekend and brought his second haul of crap home from school. I can’t believe it’s only two more weeks before his frist year will be over. I’m stocking the fridge with off-brand food and hiding all the good snacks where he can't find them. The boy has been living on the worst cafeteria food for the last 8 months and every time he comes home he raids and pillages the pantry.


I’ve sent out a ship-wide memo to all crew members about my expectations this weekend. To summarize it states that they (the crew) had better check any bad attitudes and fights over who gets Spotify this weekend, especially when their grandparents show up. Reminding them I’m not built for prison, and that the family motto is "fake it" for a reason. This Captain likes to smoke a joint before she hits the sack by 9 pm and I don't think you get that in prison. Not to mention I have a very particular morning routine. I won’t make it on the inside!




Number 2 had a close call and almost burnt the ship down while making dumplings the other night. The steamer caught on fire while he was busy scrolling Instagram, too busy to notice. I did manage to get his attention and calmly micromanaged the situation from the sofa, so the crisis was averted. However, he was very unappreciative of "help."


I’m thrilled to report that the Admirald successfully completed her frist official Snowbird mission with flying colours, enjoying her winter in the Dominican Republic. Despite her continued displeasure with the outdoor temperature here, she was happy to be back. Unfortunately, her return home was delayed by a day due to the ice storm so she was forced to spend an extra day aboard the Shit Show.


I loved having her back, she hates a dirty kitchen more than I do and I've never seen a laundry pile she wasn't willing to tackle. Moms are the best, I miss her already.


This weekend I plan on staring at my gardens impatiently waiting to be able to plant, turning the ringer off on my phone and having a good nap after eating all the kid's Easter chocolate.


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